Politically Correct Bedtime Stores


The book Politically Correct Bedtime Stores by James Fin Garner is hilarious and written in what I thought was a tactful manner.

Here are a few examples:

The Big Bad Wolf told Little Red Riding Hood it was not safe for her to walk alone in the woods.  Her response:

I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop you own, entirely valid worldview.


The three codependent goats named Gruff decided to travel up the mountainside, so “they did not overgraze their valley and kept their ecological footprint as small as possible.”

However, they had to cross a bridge that was home to a “hairy, dirt-accomplished, and odor-enhanced” troll.


Instead of helping the city of Hamelin by removing rats, the Pied Piper was hired to remove the residents of the trailer park.

The trailer park on the edge of Hamelin was a civic embarrassment.  Not only was it a terrible eye-sore, with its rusted pickup trucks and trash heaps in every backyard.  Within it dwelled some of the most unregenerate and irredeemable people you could ever imagine – murders of non domestic animals, former clients of the correctional system, and off-road bikers.  With their plastic daisy pinwheels, loud music, and drunken weekend brawls, they sent a shudder through every respectable person in town.


4 thoughts on “Politically Correct Bedtime Stores

  1. KIA says:

    Having lived in a ‘trailer park’ in the past, I find the last one extremely offensive and not at all reflective of those who actually live in them.
    Just another false narrative designed to justify ‘gentrification’ of an area by unjustly removing people from their own homes by force if the ‘monied elite’ want their land for shops and craft brew serving sports bars.
    How did I do?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. These are fun and remind of a character my dad played in am-dram … an eccentric old feller who went around child-proofing nursery rhymes eg. little miss muffet/sat on a tuffet/eating her curds and whey/down came a spider/and sat down beside her/and played with miss muffet all day. Hilarious!


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