The Black Hole of Death

Today is Aaron’s birthday.  It should be spent having fun, singing, and laughing.  However, Aaron died three years ago.  There will be no signing or laughing today.

When Aaron died, I lost my brother, Gwen lost her father, and Mom lost her son.  His death created a black hole in our family.  This black hole creates a suction that drags feelings of joy and happiness into it’s abyss.  It only leaves feelings of despair and grief.

Our family will never be the same without Aaron.  His death will impact all of us for the rest of our lives.  I just wish we could somehow banish the black hole from our mist.  That we could learn to laugh and sing again.

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Hiking Down Memory Lane

As teenagers, my brother and I spent a lot of time playing in the woods.  We went hiking, fishing, and swimming in the creek.

We also built a makeshift fort and took some of my mom’s old lawn furniture down there.  Mom never did figure out what happened to her chairs.

We spray-painted graffiti under the bridge.  We wrote our names, the names of our dogs, and noted each year we were there.

Basically, the two of us ran wild through those woods and we were having a blast.

That was 26 years ago.  Aaron passed away three years ago and his birthday is on Monday.  I decided to take his daughter (Gwen) out there.  She heard various stories over the years, but never got a chance to see the area.  It seemed like a good way to honor Aaron’s memory.

I was surprised to see a lot of our graffiti is still there.  Each step I took, felt like I was going back in time.  Even though the terrain has changed some over the years, I could still recognize different sections and areas.  I still remembered my way around those woods.

Memories of those days flooded my mind.  It was a surreal feeling.  I could almost see us and our dogs running wild.  I was excited to see it all again.  However, I felt the grief of my brother’s death.

I was hiking down memory lane and my heart was overflowing with mixed emotions.

 

Day Spent Honoring Aaron Thaler

We spent the day honoring my brother.  We told stories and laughed, but we also cried.

Mom and I went to the Huntsville Botanical Garden to see the tree that I sponsored in memory of Aaron.  I presented the sponsorship information to Mom last Christmas, because I  wanted her to know Aaron will never be forgotten and his life made a difference in this world.

Then Mom, Gwen, and I went to the cemetery to put fresh flowers on the grave.  It was hard standing there looking at his headstone.  We all miss Aaron so much and there will always be an empty place in our lives.

The Last Time I Saw You Alive

My brother died three years ago today.  I keep thinking about the last time I saw him alive.  We spent the day eating pizza and playing air hockey.

Three years ago, I lost my brother, Gwen lost her father, and Mom lost her son.  Our family was shaken to the core and the struggle to overcome this loss still continues.

Aaron Thaler – We miss you more than words can say.

 

 

 

Happy Birthday Aaron

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Today is my brother’s birthday.  Aaron would have turned 40, but he passed away two years ago.

It feels weird to think of my little brother as deceased.  I always imagined us as old and grey, but still hanging out, having fun, and arguing about stupid stuff.

His death was sudden.  I vividly remember standing in front of the police officer, as he delivered the bad news.  The officer said, “I’m sorry, but he passed away.”  I just looked at the man and didn’t respond. It had to be a mistake, but there was no denying it.  That was my brother on the ground and he really was gone.

There is nothing I can give to Aaron for his birthday this year.  However, I promise to always be there for his daughter.  That promise is the best birthday gift I can offer Aaron.

 

My Brother – May We Meet Again

 

It’s been two years since my brother died.  I still miss Aaron and think about him all the time.

We had an interesting relationship.  Aaron and I would fight ruthlessly.  Blood was spilt and trips were made to the ER.  However, we never held a grudge.  After a few days, we would laugh about the fight and the resulting injuries.

To Aaron –

You were a great brother.  I will never forget you and I will always love you.

 

Death of a Sibling

The death of my brother (Aaron Thaler) was devastating.

I was a few weeks shy of 3 years old when Aaron was born, so he was a part of my life for as long as I can remember.

My father was in the Army and we grew up overseas.  I didn’t really get to know my extended family until I was a teenager and I never had the same friend for more than a couple of years.

That made my relationship with Aaron even more special.  He was that one person I was able to play with and fight with, all throughout my childhood years.  He was my only consistent friend.

We had our ups and downs together.  Many battles were fought and a lot of blood was spilt.  However, no grudges were held.  After a few days, we would laugh about the last fight as if it was all a game.

Aaron died suddenly and I spent the first month in a state of shock.  Eventually the reality hit me and I went into a deep state of depression.  There were other factors happening at the time that caused my depression to spiral out of control.

I was blessed to have a few friends willing to reach out and help and a therapist that taught me how to overcome my depression.

It’s been almost two years since Aaron passed and my life is starting to get back on track; however, it will never be the same.  I will always miss my brother.

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