The death of my brother (Aaron Thaler) was devastating.
I was a few weeks shy of 3 years old when Aaron was born, so he was a part of my life for as long as I can remember.
My father was in the Army and we grew up overseas. I didn’t really get to know my extended family until I was a teenager and I never had the same friend for more than a couple of years.
That made my relationship with Aaron even more special. He was that one person I was able to play with and fight with, all throughout my childhood years. He was my only consistent friend.
We had our ups and downs together. Many battles were fought and a lot of blood was spilt. However, no grudges were held. After a few days, we would laugh about the last fight as if it was all a game.
Aaron died suddenly and I spent the first month in a state of shock. Eventually the reality hit me and I went into a deep state of depression.
I will always miss my brother.
What happens to a person when their soul dies, but their body remains alive?
Memories of goodness remain, but evil resides inside their heart.
Can they follow that memory and live a good life?
Can they hide the darkness from the world?
Are they doomed to follow that darkness?
Is there any hope for someone when their soul dies, but their body is alive?
Major depression feels like:
- You are drowning and you reach up for help, but no-one is there.
- You have to act calm on the outside, but inside you are screaming in agony.
- You are trapped in a cage and you are pacing back and forth like an animal.
- You have a pressure cooker inside your body and it is about to explode.
- You are alone in the world, because you are unable to connect to people. You cannot relate to them and they cannot relate to you.
- There’s a dark cloud looming over you.
- There’s a monster inside of you and it is crushing your soul.
Project Semicolon was started to raise awareness of how mental illnesses can create havoc in a person’s life and lead to suicide or suicidal ideations. It was designed to function as an anti-suicide initiative.
The semicolon is used in a sentence when the sentence could have ended, but the author decided to continue the sentence. You are the author and the sentence is your life, so don’t end your sentence prematurely.
I am an extreme introvert. I could go days without talking to people and be very happy. In fact, I really enjoy having days without human contact.
I am not anti-social, and I do enjoy being around people. I just need that alone time to recharge my batteries.
When I am forced to interact with people all the time and I don’t get enough alone time, I become irritable and my anxiety levels increase drastically. I actually feel agitated and it can even cause my depression symptoms to increase.
I try to explain this to people, but they don’t seem to understand. They don’t realize how important it is for me to have time of personal isolation. I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, but I just need to be alone.
When people feel they have no control over their situation they tend to develop learned helplessness.
They miss opportunities for relief or change, because they fail to look for such opportunities.
They never try to change anything, as a result they continue to feel helpless.