My Letter of Apology to a Plant

 

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Dear Household Plant,

Please don’t give up and die.  Please keep fighting for survival.  We (the Thaler family) enjoy your wonderful smell and appreciate your fly repelling capabilities.  We apologize for not taking proper care of you.  For whatever we did wrong, we are truly sorry and we promise to make amends.

Did we give you to much water or not enough water?  Did we allow you to spend to much time in the sun, or not enough time in the sun?  Did we fail to give you the appropriate plant food?  Was there something else you desperately needed from us and we failed to provide it?

Since you are unable to speak, we have called an expert to answer theses questions.  We promise to do better in the future and provide for your needs.  We desire for you to be a thriving member of the house, so please don’t die.

Love,

The Thaler Family

Amazing Accomplishments

To me it seems amazing that anything is ever accomplished in the Thaler household.  We have a mix of extreme introverts and type B personalities, which makes things interesting.

Common Conversations in the Thaler House:

  • Thaler A – Can you do such and such?
  • Thaler A (days later) – How come you didn’t get such and such done?
  • Thaler B – You were serious about that?  I thought it was a suggestion.

 

  • Thaler A – Can you do blah blah tomorrow?
  • Thaler B – It depends on what time I wake up?
  • Thaler A – What time do you plan on getting up in the morning?
  • Thaler B – I don’t know, it depends on how tired I am.

 

  • Thaler A – We need to complete the whatever project today.
  • Thaler B – First, I have to lay on the couch and psych myself up for that project.
  • Thaler A – Cool, I’ll check back with you in 30 minutes.

 

  • Thaler A – We have to reschedule the such and such appointment.  That will make three appointments in one day and I can’t deal with that much human interaction in the same day.
  • Thaler B – Agreed, I will reschedule the appointment.
  • Thaler A – Cool

The amazing thing is we do actually manage to get things done and take care of all our responsibilities.  It’s baffling, but true.

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