The Melancholy Monster
The Malicious Minister
The Bringer of Despondency
The Sender of Misery
Hiding Within My Heart
Tearing It Apart
Return Each Night
A Harrowing Fright
My Mind Cries
My Soul Dies
A few years ago, I began treatment for PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I suffered with the disease most of my life, but was not able to talk about it. I couldn’t even tell my previous therapist or psychiatrist about what happened to me. It was a destructive secret and it was killing me.
My current therapist believed Cognitive Behavioral Therapy combined with antidepressant medication was the best option for treating my disease.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) involved talking about the trauma and reevaluating my thought processes in regards to the trauma. I wasn’t sure CBT would help, especially since I had physical reactions whenever I talked about the trauma. My body would shake, my muscles became very tense, I was sweating, I was breathing rapidly, and I felt extremely nauseous. In spite of the physical symptoms, I kept talking.
Eventually, I was able to talk about it without having a physical reaction. Then a strange thing happened. Things that used to trigger my PTSD symptoms, were easier to handle.
CBT didn’t cure my PTSD, but it made the disease easier to manage. PTSD is no longer controlling my life.