Death of a Sibling

The death of my brother (Aaron Thaler) was devastating.

I was a few weeks shy of 3 years old when Aaron was born, so he was a part of my life for as long as I can remember.

My father was in the Army and we grew up overseas.  I didn’t really get to know my extended family until I was a teenager and I never had the same friend for more than a couple of years.

That made my relationship with Aaron even more special.  He was that one person I was able to play with and fight with, all throughout my childhood years.  He was my only consistent friend.

We had our ups and downs together.  Many battles were fought and a lot of blood was spilt.  However, no grudges were held.  After a few days, we would laugh about the last fight as if it was all a game.

Aaron died suddenly and I spent the first month in a state of shock.  Eventually the reality hit me and I went into a deep state of depression.

It’s been five years since Aaron passed, but I will always miss my brother.


When a Sibling Dies Young

Young is a relative term.  For this post, I am talking about a sibling that dies and one or both of the parents is still living.

Losing a sibling is painful, especially if you are close in age.  When Aaron was born I was almost three, so I had no memories of a world without my brother.  I was in shock and I didn’t know how to deal with my grief.

However, I cannot even fathom how my mother must have felt.  She just lost her son.  People say that losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to a person.

It’s rare in modern America for a parent to be faced with burying a child, so when family and friends come to offer support they flock to the parent.  The sibling may go unnoticed in all the commotion.

When I was dealing with my brother’s death, I didn’t want to burden my mother by telling her I was suffering.  She had enough to deal with, so I had to be strong.  If I tried to talk to someone else, I felt selfish.  I wanted to complain about how bad it feels to lose my brother, but my mother lost her son.

When a sibling dies young, dealing with your grief can be complicated.  It’s important to find someone that will listen to what you are feeling and realize you are not selfish for wanting to talk about your pain.


My brother, Aaron