Anthropomorphized my Dogs

I got to wondering what my dogs would be like as people.  This is what I came up with.

Ben is a Great Pyrenees and the laziest dog I have ever seen.  I think Ben would be a mid-level office worker that spends all his free time watching T.V.

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Blue is an Australian Cattle Dog.  He would make a wonderful drill sergeant, because he loves barking out orders and telling everyone where they should be going.

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Joey is a Labrador/Pyrenees mix.  He is hyperactive, stubborn, and goofy.  I can picture Joey as an excellent high school P.E. teacher.

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Norton is a terrier mix.  He may be the smallest dog in our family, but his brothers never mess with him.  He has a big attitude.  I think Norton would be a successful politician.

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Buddy is a Rottweiler/Beagle mix.  He is all about fairness.  In fact, if Buddy sees one of his brothers being mean to another brother he will jump into action and defend the one being wronged.  That’s why I think Buddy would be a social worker.

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TECH Zombies

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I’m Adam Link and I was born in 2124.  At the time of my birth, the government was conducting experiments to create a superhuman race.  Everyone was lining up to receive the cognitive enhancement brain implant.

This implant enhanced human cognitive abilities, increased longevity, and regulated bodily systems (for example:  the chip would send a notification if your blood pressure was high).  Those who received the implant, were known as TECH Humans.

My parents were a part of a small group known as the Purist.  They believed the human race should remain pure (without technological enhancements).  When I was born, they refused to allow the doctors to give me the implant.

Everyone thought my parents were crazy.  How would I survive in a world full of TECH humans?  How will I ever become a successful or productive member of society?  Basically, everyone believed the best I could hope for was to become a janitor.

Twenty years later, a routine upgrade was being done on all TECH humans.  However, something went terribly wrong.  The chip started killing their physical bodies, but the chip remained functioning.  Dead people were walking around, without a conscious and reduced to their base animalistic nature.  This was the beginning of the TECH Zombie War.

Purist from all over the nation gathered together and tried to devise a plan to deal with the situation.  TECH Zombies were killing everything in their path and it looked like the human race was about to face extinction.

It was a horrible time.  We went scrounging for food or supplies, but many of us were killed in the process.  Hope was failing fast.

The only way of stoping the TECH Zombies was to destroy the chip.  I realized our only hope of survival was to create a virus that could deactivate all the chips at the same time.

However, the main upgrade system was in the heart of the city.  To get to the building we would have to fight our way through a hoard of TECH Zombies.

My parents had put a lot of effort into my education, so I was created the virus.  Every Purist that was able to fight willingly joined the crusade.  We used any weapon that was available to us and created armor out of scape metal to protect us during the battle.

The fighting was fierce and it took several hours to get to the upgrade center.  Finally we made into the building.  We had to use a makeshift explosive to get into the main hall.  A lot of people died to get us this far, but we never thought about stoping our mission.

I uploaded my virus into the system and prayed for a miracle.  I was looking out the window at the TECH Zombies and all of a sudden they started thrashing about and then they all collapsed into a heap.

I was screaming, “It worked.  It worked.”  The human race will be saved and now we can start rebuilding.

To all the people that thought I would grow up to become a janitor, in a way they are correct.  The TECH Humans left a mess that I will be in charge of cleaning.  However, I am not just a janitor.  I am also the savor of the plant.  I am Adam Link, the hope for future generations.

Grocery Shopping – The Thaler Way

The Thaler family doesn’t like to go to the grocery store, so we avoid it for as long as possible.  Eventually, we are left with nothing but butter in the refrigerator and my mom is using dish detergent to do her laundry.

When we reach this level of desperation, we schedule a day for all of us to go to the store and we buy enough stuff to last for the next four to six weeks.

We always shop at the same place and the cashiers have gotten to know us.  They like to comment on our massive shopping sprees.

That’s how the Thaler’s shop for groceries.

 

Mom’s Shopping Story

I went to the Shoppette on Redstone Arsenal.  The Shoppette is a small store with only a hand full of cash registers to check out.

I had two items in my shopping cart.  I walked up to the cash register and the cashier asked me if I had already paid for my items.  I said, no.

Then all sorts of things started going through my mind.  What did she think I did, go to one of the other cash registers and pay then walk over to her cash register after paying for my items.

I also wondered what she would have said if I said, yes I already paid.  Would she have just let me walk out of the store even though I had not paid of my items.

They say there is always a first time for everything and I must admit this is the first time I have ever been asked if I had already paid for my items while waiting at the cash register to pay.

I just keep thinking about her and laughing. 

 

Rita Thaler

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