The Survivors Club – Book Review

survivors-club-book-jacket-mdn

Ben Sherwood conducted research on how some people mange to survive traumatic events that have a high rate of fatality.

He interviewed survivors, talked to doctors, and other researchers and then he complied his findings in a book titled The Survivors Club.  He also explains how people can improve their chances of survival during a crisis event.

I thought it was an interesting book.

 

Victim Blaming – Elizabeth Thomas

The story of Elizabeth Thomas has been all over the news.  The internet is full of people’s opinions about the case.  Unfortunately, those opinions also include blaming the victim.

Adults with fully developed brains and a vast array of life experiences are passing judgment on Elizabeth.  They believe she should have known what was about to happen and how to handle the situation.

However, Elizabeth is a 15 year old child.  Her brain is not fully developed, so she doesn’t have the same ability as an adult to make logical decisions or understand the potential consequences of what is happening.  Elizabeth also has a very limited amount of life experiences, which would prevent her from knowing how to deal with a sexual predator.

Tad Cummins is an adult and he knew Elizabeth was struggling with her home life.  He also knew that would make Elizabeth an easy target.  The early phases of their relationship involved classic grooming techniques used by sexual predators to ensure compliance from their victims.

It is not uncommon for children to return to a sexual predator that has groomed them and inserted themselves into the life of the child.  There are a lot of reasons children fail to report sexual abuse.

One of those reasons is fear.  They are afraid of being blamed for the abuse.  They believe it is their fault.  Unfortunately, that is what some children are seeing now.  A child was victimized by an adult and some adults are placing blame on the child.

When I hear people blaming Elizabeth for what happened, it breaks my heart.  I think of the pain she has endured.  These adults are only going to make it harder for her to overcome the abuse and learn to live a normal life.

I also think of any children that may overhear these conversations or read online posts blaming Elizabeth.  What if they are also being abused by someone in their life?  Will these children believe they are to blame for their abuse?  Will they endure years of abuse at the hands of a sexual predator, because the adults around them are blaming a victim?

 

 

Pity Pot to Positivity

FullSizeRender.jpg

Life hasn’t always been easy for me.  I have faced various traumatic events, dealt with grief, struggled with disabilities, and endured hardships.  However, I will not allow those things to control me or destroy me.  I am an overcomer.

I want to move forward to remain strong.  I want to use my negative experiences to make me resilient.  If I can overcome my past experiences then I can conquer whatever the future holds for me.

Have I ever found myself dwelling on my pity pot, crying about my struggles, and winning about why these things happened to me?  The answer is yes.  I admit I find it cathartic to do so at times.

There is no shame in feeling defeated or feeling sorry for yourself.  Those are natural human emotions.

The important thing is to get off the pity pot and continue moving forward.  Don’t let your past destroy your future.